Not getting a response? You might be making one of these 5 common mistakes when booking an escort

Have you been reaching out to escort(s) to book a date and been repeatedly met with crickets?

Short of being just an unlucky person, you are probably doing something wrong. But that’s okay! Sexwork operates in a legal grey area and so it’s insular nature is a by-product of that circumstance.

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Continue reading to find out…

Table Of Contents

• Introduction
• Mistake 5 : Haggling
• Mistake 4 : Not reading the ad and/or website
• Mistake 3 : To explicit
• Mistake 2 : Asking for pics for additional verification
• Mistake 1 : 1 or 2 word intro messages/doesn’t include relevant details

I’d say a rough estimate of around 70% of your success at booking a date will be determined by YOU. How a client communicates as well as the contents of their message has the most influence on whether or not a meetup will occur. But don’t worry! Try to re-frame what may feel like a lot of anxiety inducing pressure as a positive; your actions can directly influence your desired outcome. You as the client control how you behave and approach a sexworker. For the most part, you get what you give with us.

The other 20% is out of the client’s hands and is totally dependant on the sexworker in question. They will have their own schedules, working preferences, personal life influences and more that can impact whether or not she will respond or take the booking.

Speaking of what is and isn’t controllable about how to approach the booking process let’s go over 5 common mistakes that you might be making to get left on ‘read’.

Top 5 Reasons Why Escorts Are Not Replying To Your Messages And Booking Requests

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#5) Haggling

In the spirit of starting things off on an obvious note, haggling has earned it’s rightful spot in the top 5 mistakes you might be making when trying to book an escort. For very valid reasons, might I add. Reasons that I honestly shouldn’t have to point out to anyone but here we are. Apparently this isn’t an obvious part of etiquette to most of you fellas. I’m not just guessing this estimate, either. This has been evidenced by the sheer volume of inquiries that I have received over the course of my multi-year tenor as a professional companion.

To put it into context for you, think of it like this: You apply for a high demand position that you are overqualified for and the company comes back with a job offer that proposes a below industry standard salary. Would you find this to be insulting? If not an insult then it would at least be a major turn off. At minimum it would give you pause about working with that company. The job is no longer an incentivized position and I guarantee the only motivation to accept the offer is that of desperation.

It’s the same exact thing for escorts when potential clients start haggling. The companion will end up A. Feeling insulted, or B. So turned off by the thought of seeing you for a session that the only way reason she chooses to meet with you is out of desperation. Motivation out of desperation is not just semi-exploitative, it will never result in a fun time for either of you. The last thing you want to do is sew a seed of resentment and illicit feelings of dread prior to even meeting eachother.

No one likes to be paid less. Nobody.

“Contrary to popular belief, sexworkers do not do whatever with whoever, whenever and wherever as long as they pay the hourly rate.”

– “5 mistakes that guys make when contacting an escort” – WITS and Tits

#4) Not reading the ad or website

This mistake is a BIG one; failing to read (or at least skim through) the entire escort ad and or professional website.

You wouldn’t believe how often this frustration is complained about amongst all types of sexworkers. Escorts, FBSM providers, phone sex operators, cam girls and even strippers. I’d wager to bet that it is the biggest pet peeve of adult entertainers next to grievances about time wasters and no call-no show appointments.

This may be news to many of you who haven’t spent much time conversing with companions (or maybe you just prefer keeping details at a minimum and focusing on physical pleasures of the date) but we spend a lot of time writing those ads. Like, A TON of time. It’s the same way with how much time escorts spend on drafting website copy. If not even more so doing that. The countless hours spent drafting, editing, re-drafting again and again in an attempt to craft a message that will resonate with our ideal client is done in vain when clients bypass it entirely. Of course, an escort shouldn’t take personal offense. Now you can probably see where I am going with this…

So just trust me when I say that if it is on her website then she wants it to be read and adhered to. I know that for me personally each block of copy has been used on several platforms and then tweaked accordingly based on the response it gets. What you see, at least with my ads, is copy that is influenced by data analytics, A/B testing results, Ai grammar/tone suggestions and client feedback. Each segment is there for a reason.

Another thing to think about is that when you ask questions that are easily answered already what you’re actually doing is taking up a provider’s time. As they say, time is money. For the business of legal escorting this applies even more so because quite literally TIME = $$$. Professional escorts provide a service (companionship) for a specified duration (amount of time spent). When you book an escort, you are paying for her time spent providing erotic companionship.

It may seem like it only takes a second to type out the answer but please remember, there are likely upwards of 20 other inquiries going on that day and many are asking those same exact questions. It can really start to add up!

You want to be the ‘easy to book with’ guy. Know everything there is to know about the booking procedure like what information is needed to book the session, availability, preferred method of contact, etc. Also, thorough reading is just as much a benefit to potential clients as it is to the companion! Everyone’s time is valuable and ways to avoid wasting your own should be a top priority too. On a daily basis I get inquiries that rule themselves out in the first couple texts, if not immediately. Each and every single time, without fail, the potential client could have saved us both the time by simply reading the ad and filtering themselves out.

The most common example of this is when the client wants to book an incall session despite having my ad stating “outcall only” no less than 3 times throughout the listing, including in the post title.

#3) To explicit

This reason is a BIG one because the stakes are so high. Whenever someone pops up in my inbox saying super sexual things I consider it to be a red flag 🚩. Now, I know a portion of readers are scratching their heads thinking “this chick is a literal self identified SEXWORKER but considers steamy conversation to be poor form? Nah, I’ll pass”. Look, I know that it seems like a counterintuitive notion given the circumstances but I assure you, I have valid reasons for this. Let me explain…

Reasoning For Red Flags

So my advice is this; do not ask about specific physical acts in your texts or calls. Just don’t. Instead, read the ad thoroughly. Visit the escort’s website and actually take the damn time to soak in the information that you need to know. Most often the answer to your questions will be answered on one of the many webpages on their site. If you cannot locate the answer to your question or read between the lines of innuendo and vague speech that many sexworkers use as legal protection then maybe don’t book an appointment,

Or, another alternative would be to purchase some paid texting/video call time from the escort. Then proceed to ask away to your cock’s content! LE aren’t allowed to spend part of their sting budget on actually purchasing services from the sexworkers they are investigating because technically they would be committing a crime as well, in theory. Guaranteed she will feel much more receptive to discussing the specifics of the session.

#2) Asking for photos for additional verification

The fourth mistake you might be making if escort’s are not being responsive to your messages and booking attempts is if you are asking for additional verification to prove an escort’s identity with specific pictures or a video call. Now, you’re not always in the wrong for requesting this and I totally understand wanting to ensure that the sexworker is who they claim to be in their ads. A portion of escorts actually don’t mind doing this and good for them! Those are the ones that you should be pursuing if this if a ‘verification photo/video’ is a dealbreaker for you.

However, there are some aspects to this that you may not be aware of as to why a lot of companions refuse to engage in this activity. This is why I too do not participate in this half baked attempt of verifying my escort persona identity. Let’s dig right in, boys.

1. Timewasters, trolls and other not serious inquirers use this as a way to get free time, attention and sometimes even explicit content that they screen record to post and profit from later. They have no actual intention to book an appointment.
2. It doesn’t actually protect you from anything or ensure that the person who shows up at your door is the person in the ad. These scammers can actually be quite sophisticated. From spoofing their locations to photoshopping photos and videos. Also, even if it is the same companion as the one in the photos that doesn’t stop them from pulling some shady, nefarious and dangerous shit.
3. It takes up SO MUCH of our time prior to confirming that the booking is a sure thing. I don’t think that client’s quite understand what goes into taking an acceptable photo to send in as “verification”. Remember, we are the product and our time spent providing companionship is the service. That means we cant just snap a quick selfie and be on our way. It has to look good to still be enticing enough to continue to want to book with us. The problem is that we aren’t photo ready 24/7. Sometimes while texting about a booking I will be sweaty, dirt smeared on my face and hair in a crazy bun or under a bandana because I’ve been gardening all afternoon. Now you expect me to get completely done up to take a photo or hop on a vid call prior to securing the date with a deposit? Get real. Plus, not everyone is photogenic. I personally am not. It takes me at least 10 minutes to take a photo that I like and feel comfortable sending. That doesn’t include how long it takes my mini ring light that clamps on my phone to charge. Another point to consider is that the companion might be around her family, friends or even at her day job. Now imagine if I had to take multiple calls and photos everyday to prove my identity. That would amount to so much damn time to prove that I indeed am the person in the photos on my ad afterall. Get real, most adult women don’t have time for that.
4. Scammers specifically target escorts to obtain these highly sought after ‘verification’ examples. They pose as regular potential clients who want to book some time together but are insistent on receiving this additional verification. Once they get it they disappear. From there these criminal fuckwits start creating fake profiles using different persona names in other areas while using all of her ad photos. When inquiries start rolling in the scammer uses the verification photo to bolster legitimacy and build up trust so that the target lowers their defenses and either sends a deposit OR gives up some kind of crucial information that can be used to steal their identity. Thankfully I caught on early but so many escorts don’t know any better!

#1) 1-3 word intro message that lacks relevant details

Finally we have arrived at the number one spot on our list! Let me assure you, this one definitely earned it’s place. My personal biggest pet peeve and the most annoying, pointless and dreaded phrase to receive in my inbox. “Hi”, “Hey”, “U avail?” or some other 1-2 word equally as useless version of a half assed greeting is literally the bane of my existence as an escort.

Hatred for this phrase (in this context) is universal amongst escorts and the annoyance it ignites transcends all borders and languages. There is no bigger red flag and why to get ignored by myself and any other even semi-professional companion than to get a single word text. Even worse if that word is followed by more than one question mark “Available??” and then proceeded on by several other question marks. The lack of awareness, consideration for others and common sense is truly astounding. If you cannot figure out why that is then I am sorry, I refuse to explain it. A grown adult should be able to figure out why this is such a rude and ineffective means to communicate your desire to schedule a meeting.

If by some chance you are not a timewaster and have serious intent to meet up with and happily pay a companion for their time (no bullshit, no games, no boundary pushing to “get your money’s worth” and no haggling upon arrival) then I strongly advise against going this route. 9/10 the inquiry does not result in a successful booking. Meaning, texts like begin in this manner almost ALWAYS result in a no call/no show. That is, if the conversation even gets to that point. Usually the text exchange consists of long time lapses between responses and asking sexual questions without ever getting to the relevant details about booking. No escort wants or has the time to do what feels like pulling teeth. Instead, I will provide for you all a simple intro message template that’s guaranteed to skyrocket you to the top of their priority list. No more being left on read. That era is officially over.

Additionally, if you needed any further proof of just how useless and ineffective these types of short messages that lack any details whatsoever then take a look at this:

Summary

To wrap up this post let’s go over some of the key takeaways that you have learned about communicating with escorts from the 5 mistakes that we discussed:

• Respect the pricing set and avoid haggling, as it is disrespectful and off-putting.
• Thoroughly read the ad and website to understand the booking process, etiquette and other requirements to avoid wasting both party’s time.
• Avoid overly explicit or sexual conversation because it is potentially risky and can have legal implications. Don’t put them in that position and spare yourself getting blocked.
• Be considerate when requesting additional verification, as it can be time-consuming and may not fully guarantee the identity of the escort.
• Avoid sending very brief or vague initial messages, as they are often ineffective in securing a booking and can lead to being ignored.
• Respect the escort’s time and professionalism, and approach the booking process with clarity and respect.

So with that said I hope this post was insightful and perhaps bettered your perception of how best to communicate with professional erotic companions. Good luck with future booking requests and fingers crossed you don’t get left on read. Toodles!